APRIL 2020: Since 2011, I’ve been working on explaining, illustrating, and condensing a system to manage verbal confrontations, from mild to severe. After practicing mixed martial arts (MMA) for a few years, I recognized that verbal confrontations caused an emotional reaction that reminded me of sparring.
As with any martial arts system, there’s a lot to explain. At first, I had no idea how I could formulate my observations into some sort of usable format that could be taught to people who wanted to defend themselves in mental and emotional battles. I needed to categorize moves.
When DramaGuru was born
In a conversation with my martial arts teacher, Professor Kenny Florian, I attempted to explain my idea. Kenny didn’t get it. Oh, dear. I was still in the formative stage, and it was too early for him to understand what I meant.
But I was shocked when he didn’t understand. I said, “I’m just expressing what you’ve taught me about ground fighting (Brazilian jiu-jitsu) and applying it to conversation.”
We laughed and joked that I needed to find a way to explain myself quickly, like maybe in a cartoon format. But, all these years later, after many different attempts to write a book, it turns out that the comic book format is the easiest way for me to express my thoughts.
Plus, Kenny thought calling my concept, DramaGuru was cool. Or perhaps he was just being polite. Either way, the name stuck.
Currently, each post I create is meant to work as a conversation where some new idea or technique is taught with a case from real life to practice using the DramaGuru positions and attacks.
Mixed Martial Arts classes are taught the same way. New students just join in wherever the class is and with whatever the class is doing. Eventually, the pieces come together, and you learn how to fight.
Leanpub: first book attempt
My first attempt to create a book happened on the Leanpub platform.
Starting in 2014, I spent hours writing but gave up after I got about halfway through. I worried that no one would want to slog through all those pages. Fighting is immediate, and I felt that training or teaching people about my “game” as I referred to it, needed to be just as immediate.
Looking back on the Table of Contents for DramaGuru Revelation: Interrupt the Pattern, Change the Game, I feel like I was on the right track with my categorization.
Reading through a few pages, though, it’s the wrong format for fight training. It takes too long to explain it. Physical fighting involves understanding what moves happened. Who did what when?
The same question asked by a person in the middle of an emotional quarrel or disagreement elicits a torrent of words, tears, frustration, blaming, and curse words ad infinitum.
Too many words. So much talking. Please stop (shut up!).
You’re making it too difficult to decipher, “Who did what when?”
DramaGuru Revelation provides a framework for, first, abbreviating messy conversations and, second, learning how to stop someone from dominating or controlling you. Third, over time, you develop a strong, trusting relationship with your cornermen.
DramaGuru Revelation: First Set
From the book idea, I decided that since it was a game, I should create a deck of cards. That turned out to be an excellent idea! I got the cards printed.
Having something physical made it easier to use the cards in conversations. Working through situations revealed patterns and healed emotional wounds.
I knew that condensing my thoughts and techniques onto a deck of 72 cards was the right way to go. There are eight (8) positions and eight (8) attacks. That’s only 16 cards out of 72.
I coined a phrase to explain the game.
What is DramaGuru?
Cheryl Ragsdale
I call it, “Mixed Martial Arts for your mouth”.
Combine 8 positions with 8 attacks in a multitude of ways to frustrate and defeat your opponent.
Practitioners think of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu as physical chess.
I think of DramaGuru as verbal chess. It’s fun to work out how to block, protect, and defend.
For instance, if you are having trouble with someone, but everyone else seems to love them, that person might not like you. Or it could be that he or she changes their manner depending on who’s in the room. Like the husband who dominates and controls his wife at home, but acts like the perfect gentleman when they’re out in public.
Not very nice!
That husband has secured the DramaGuru Chameleon position, meaning he changes to match whoever is around. This is a dangerous and difficult behavior to deal with.
You’re caught in his trap.
Because no one would ever believe that he could be so cruel.
People say things like, “Everyone just loves him. He’s so charming and nice.”
No. He isn’t. He’s just pretending to be nice. And it’s working.
But not for long. I’m clocking you, Mr. Chameleon.
When you play DramaGuru, first you analyze your opponent’s position and his attacks, then you formulate a game plan designed to “interrupt the pattern, change the game”.
Because of the risks involved in investigating and introducing changes to your relationship, you’ll need your two cornermen to assist you and to give you confidence.
DramaGuru Relationships: Second Set
I was so delighted with the results gained through the first deck, that I created a second set of 72 cards. I designed the first deck for skirmishes with friends, family, co-workers, strangers, etc.
The second deck is for arguments, discussions, and disconnections with family members, partners, close friends, and people who make you feel dark and stormy. It’s personal.
In fight language, a transition is how you move from your position to your attack. To create an opening for your attack, you need to do something to distract your opponent. Feints or fake punches serve this purpose for boxing.
The DramaGuru Transition card I’ve chosen is one of my favorites. It’s easy to deflect and redirect a conversation. Watch any kid who gets caught doing the wrong thing. Under pressure, it’s like an automatic reflex.
I have a question for you. When you look at the card, does your eye focus on the yellow glove or the white space below the glove?
There is a right answer.
The punch that knocks you out
Boxing Quote
is the one you don’t see coming.
DramaGuru Comic Books
I created three (3) comic books on the blurb.com platform. That was fun! And the comic books looked great. I love having hard copies of my work.
Now, that I’m back to making comics, it’ll be simple to curate an anthology of the COVID-19 comics on this blog. This is my way of marking this moment in time.
You can sneak a peek at the inside by following this link: DramaGuru: Lesson Two Who’s In Your Corner
DramaGuru Magazine
I wanted to prove that the DramaGuru method worked for analyzing situations in real life. I chose recent news stories. Then I analyzed the frame of the situation as I would analyze an MMA fight, but I used the fight language of DramaGuru instead.
I’ve written at least 100 cases as blog posts. I published the cases in DramaGuru Magazine (monthly) on thatgirlisfunny2.com and on WhoDoYouRespect.com (unpublished).
DramaGuru Academy
Next, I created an online DramaGuru Academy. I developed the basis for belt levels. I wrote lessons. It was time intensive. After a few months, I decided to let it simmer. I wanted to attract students with a monthly subscription. But I couldn’t get the email sender to work. Fail!
What a nuisance. Then, there were issues with managing the money end, etc. It was too much. And the problems took all the fun out of writing the cases.
April 2020: With the advent of COVID-19, I’ve returned to the world of DramaGuru. This time with a new blog, focused on comics. The magazine will continue, and the Academy will get back on track at some point.
I’m impatient. When I write a case, I want to publish it immediately. I saved cases for the Academy that weren’t published on my blogs. I feel the same way when writing a book. It takes too long! I want people to read cases now and have access to tools that might help them solve a problem today.
Especially if it’s a painful one.
Update: July 2026
Since 2020, I’ve continued to work on this game. Now, as of this year, I’ve folded in the Courts of Heaven case studies. All new cases going forward will include the Demon Spotting code words and the Courts of Heaven analysis questions. DramaGuru Academy is preparing to open.
There’s more to come! Stay tuned for details.
About the Author
Cheryl Gwyneth Ragsdale is uniquely qualified to teach creative problem-solving skills to all ages, all levels of maturity — and for any “sticky situation” that you might face in a lifetime. She applies her fight training to teaching people how to handle verbal skirmishes in professional and personal relationships. She is available for coaching and consulting.
Ragsdale combined her education, work experience, years of self-development courses, and, most importantly, her mixed martial arts (MMA) training to create a game that can be played the old-fashioned way. All you need is a pencil, paper and someone to talk to.