While every family has private disputes, Harry and Meghan brought the whole world into their rupture with the Royal Family. Their televised interview with Oprah drew more than 17 million views in the US and over 11 million more in the UK.
Royal Response to Harry and Meghan after the Oprah Interview
Buckingham Palace Responds, Piers Morgan Quits After Harry And Meghan Interview
“The whole family is saddened to learn the full extent of how challenging the last few years have been for Harry and Meghan. The issues raised, particularly that of race, are concerning. While some recollections may vary, they are taken very seriously and will be addressed by the family privately. Harry, Meghan and Archie will always be much loved family members.” (09 March 2021)
Royal Response to Harry and Meghan After they Left the Firm
NYTimes: “The queen allowed the couple to keep the titles Duke and Duchess of Sussex, one of their last royal perquisites, after a severance deal under which they gave up the titles, His Royal Highness and Her Royal Highness, and agreed to stop using the word ‘royal ‘in their commercial and charitable ventures.“
Buckingham Palace issued a statement regarding their decision: “While we are saddened by their decision,” the statement added, “the Duke and Duchess remain much loved members of the family.” (published on 19 Feb 2021 and updated on 07 March 2021)
Q&A With DramaGuru: Black Belt Trap
The situation with Harry and Meghan, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, reminded me of a query from Rapunzel whose family didn’t come to her defense when she needed them to help her get media trolls to back down and go away.
Question (Comment) from Rapunzel: “The media won’t stop trolling me. Instead of standing up for me, my family pretends not to notice.”
Unfortunately, it’s not a new story in the world of family dynamics. Whatever makes someone “not like us” is an outsider. Someone who can be treated like an object forever.
Relationships break down over disputes regarding marriage to people who are (or have) the wrong:
- color
- religion
- class (money, education, heritage, etc.)
- age
- sex or gender
- fit: just wrong or a mis-match in someone’s opinion
- political point of view
- breeding: defined as the good manners regarded as characteristic of the aristocracy and conferred by heredity
- order of things: baby before marriage
Whatever the reasons, the emotional harm lingers in memory and resurfaces during holidays and family events. Divorces and estrangements generate feelings of grief that often go unrecognized because anger is easier to express.
Not the first to divorce their family
Harry and Meghan are not the first to “divorce” their family. But, because of the public nature of it — and because the doors to regaining Royal status are contractually closed, my heart grieves for them. Their actions impact everyone who cares.
For instance, today I realized that it mattered to me that Meghan will give birth in California instead of England.
It’s none of my business. And yet, I feel disappointed.
I was born in the UK. Tradition is important to me!
Maybe Harry escaped the trap that kept his mother, Princess Diana, at the center of public scrutiny. But, escaping one set of traps doesn’t free you up from the rest of life’s adventures, choices and bad moves.
The following headlines are from Independent.co.uk
‘WHY MEGHAN MARKLE AND PRINCE HARRY MAY NOT ALWAYS HAVE LEGAL CUSTODY OF ROYAL BABY’
“According to Koenig, issues surrounding the law arose in 1994 when Diana, Princess of Wales separated from Prince Charles. Diana expressed wishes to take their sons, Harry and William, to live with her in Australia, but couldn’t, due to the regulations laid out by the custody law.” source: Independent.co.uk
‘The law dates all the way back to the early 18th century’
If the Royal Family wants to dispel the image of racism, when Prince Charles becomes King (the moment the Queen passes), he can claim custody of Archie and his future baby sister. Unless there’s something contractual that interrupts that law.
Interesting.
That’s what life looks like in the River of Grace. Lots of twists, turns and unexpected swift currents.
I hope Harry and Meghan gain access to the cornermen who can help them navigate life in a “used to be Royal” world.
Just because your status changed, doesn’t make the cameras go away.
DramaGuru Smash
Analyzing the situation using cards from both decks of DramaGuru Revelation and DramaGuru Relationships illuminates a dark and complex he-said-she-said world of entrapment.
Getting “trolled” by the media because of decisions, choices, actions and other people’s opinions is unbearable for anyone. Not receiving support, turns the key in the lock, ensuring the victim feels the full effect of the trap.
When someone sets a Black Belt level Trap, it means that wherever you go, the trap goes with you. It’s always on your mind. Always creepy-crawling through your thoughts.
DramaGuru Relationships Positions:
- Hammerhead Shark: treat someone like an object, create distance, remove forms of protection
- The Crown of Thorns: hold the relationship hostage with constant threats. You suffer, but not in silence.
- Bamboo Shark: Command and Control. Expect people to submit to your demands. If they won’t do what you want, punish them.
Attacks from the DramaGuru Revelation list: In this situation, only the Two-Timer attack wasn’t used (7 out of 8 possible moves)
- Creepy Wally: watching your every move and reporting on it
- The Vampire : draining your energy, joy and enthusiasm
- Turncoat: no loyalty whatsoever
- The Eddie: encourage the audience to join in against you
- The Grandiose: be as insulting as possible with no concern of retaliation
- Sneaky Millie: threaten to change the rules to disrupt and rock the boat
- The Baby Jane: create complete chaos with no help or support offered
DramaGuru Relationships Transition: Deceptive Move, Feint:
In a situation like this one, to survive, most people pretend that everything is just “fine”.
“In the face of impending doom, keep telling everyone you can handle it.”
That is an elbow heading directly towards your face. I hope you instinctively take a step back…or else you’ll get cracked in the face.
Having An Exit Plan Was Best Move For Harry And Meghan
When the Black Belt trap is set, you’ll need help escaping from it.
Harry and Meghan had help from Oprah, as Pivot Person, with her revealing interview. Prior to that, Tyler Perry filled the gap for housing and security, while Harry and Meghan searched for a new home.
No one in this world can solve a problem like this on their own.
The audience, so hungry for dirt, has to back off. The family members involved have to repair their relationships. Wounded feelings take time to heal. Contractual agreements are in place. Time limits have passed. There are so many layers and a lot of opinions.
Then, there’s the damage to the image of the UK and the Royal Family. If the press are allowed to disrespect some members without reprisal, I wonder which family member is next on the (continual) list, finding themselves the center of unwanted attention.
Racism: Subtle or explicit
Was Meghan’s son Archie denied the title ‘prince’ because he’s mixed race? Something to notice in the title of this article from TheGuardian.com. It says, “Meghan’s son”, not Harry and Meghan’s son.
Racist omission or not enough room to add the father’s name?
If space were an issue, I believe that, by now, everyone knows who Archie is. The writer could have just left out “Meghan’s son”.
No one is perfect. Call it a blind spot.
The writer, Caroline Davies, probably didn’t realize the insult. Or maybe she did.
Regardless of her intent, I recognized the insult. Whether Caroline meant it or not, these unconscious slights are like small paper cuts.
After all the turmoil she’s faced, Meghan has tough skin, but her mental health needs time (and space) to repair and recover.
And yes, there are 100 year old rules, but Queen Elizabeth or Prince Charles, when he is King, can make adjustments to the rules. Meghan is worried that might happen.
DramaGuru’s Answer To Rapunzel
“When Family doesn’t protect you during attacks from outsiders, it’s evident that, by doing nothing, Family have emboldened the enemy and (silently) joined with your opponents. It’s natural to feel isolated and alone.
If you cannot depend on your family for support, you have to find someone (or a group) to be in your corner as you deal with difficult situations.
You are not alone and no one expects you to handle deep disputes with your family by yourself.
When an opponent uses multiple positions and attacks to weaken you, their confidence can blind them to the holes in their game.
Hoist by their own click bait petard
Bored with you, the Media might turn on your Family, leaving them (the ones who ignored your pleas for help), hoist with their own click-bait petard.”
USAToday: “In a statement, Meghan called out the tabloid Mail on Sunday for ‘illegal and dehumanizing practices…For these outlets, it’s a game,’ her statement said. ‘For me and so many others, it’s real life, real relationships, and very real sadness. The damage they have done and continue to do runs deep’.” Duchess Meghan wins privacy lawsuit against British tabloid: ‘Damage runs deep’
Piers Morgan Quits Job Over Unpopular Comments About Meghan
Piers Morgan, a popular British Broadcaster on “Good Morning Britain”, took off his microphone and walked off the set, later quitting his job altogether, after bashing Meghan and saying that he didn’t believe anything she says.
At the end of the video, he says he hasn’t been “cancelled” and he plans to reemerge.
Seems to be the theme for the year. Getting cancelled and then promising to return, bigger and more powerful.
Photo Credit: Meghan and Harry Wedding Day By Londisland, CC BY 3.0
The game I call Demon Spotting developed over time as I worked through emotional entanglements and confusing break-ups. My misery became code words. Code words became mat drills. Mat drills became winning combinations. And my confusion lifted. Consider this your invitation to play. Clarity is freedom.