One minute (between rounds) Question and Answer session with Cornerman Agent September.
Sometimes, people treat you like you are a part of their audience. You exist to serve their needs. If they want you to laugh, you have to laugh. If they want to be the center of attention, God help you if you ignore them or don’t react fast enough.
DramaGuru player, Cannon Fodder asked, “Why do I lose power around certain people? I feel labeled, put in a box, devalued.”
Agent September’s Answer
People who operate out of Hammerhead Shark Position have power. They may have actual authority based on their position in the family, where you work or their role in social groups. Their leadership can be formal or informal.
They treat people like objects. Not permanent. Easy to replace. They can buy whoever they need.
View someone as an object by disregarding their feelings or reducing them solely to what they can offer you.
bustle.com
When people treat me this way, I feel separated, cut off from the group. Suddenly, I see myself through their judgement, their negative attention and their need to steal my energy.
It’s a very effective position. Because, over time, I forget who I am whenever I’m around them. They are capable of objectifying me with a word or a look. And I wilt. My power is gone.
Karma: There’s nothing to be done to change a person who gets through life by dominating and controlling people. Don’t get distracted. The Clock Maker knows what’s up.
But you can take steps to defend yourself when you are around them.
Maintain distance. Spend less time with them. It’s possible to love them, but not like them.
Now, that I analyze all my emotional battles through the framework of DramaGuru, I figure things out faster and get my power back quicker. I feel like myself again. Peaceful and strong, with no one rocking my boat.
To interrupt the pattern and change the game, minimize your interaction with this group or anyone who treats you like an object.
Instead, connect with people who offer WARMTH.
W for Welcoming. A for Acceptance. R for Respect. M for Meaningful. T for Trust. H for Honor.
Hiram Lodge (Dad) vs Veronica Lodge (Teenage Daughter)
The TV series “Riverdale”, based on the Archie comic book series, features a diabolical dad, Hiram Lodge who treats both his wife (Hermione) and his daughter, Veronica, like objects.
Veronica goes to battle against her dad. But Hiram controls people who have more power than she does. So far, she’s putting out a lot of effort and constantly losing.
Get Connected!
Is it worth it to do battle with a person who uses you? Unfortunately, whatever you want from them (love, honor, respect) isn’t coming your way anytime soon.
Get connected to a group of people who want to bond with you in ways that allow you to take your guard down and expand your heart.
Check out more DramaGuru Relationships cards (68) to help you get to neutral and sort through your situation before making the moves to remove the irritation and bring you peace.
The game I call Demon Spotting developed over time as I worked through emotional entanglements and confusing break-ups. My misery became code words. Code words became mat drills. Mat drills became winning combinations. And my confusion lifted. Consider this your invitation to play. Clarity is freedom.